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very I N V I T I N G
In an age of impulsively written email and online communication, a beautifully worded invitation is a reminder of the delight that can come from receiving a well-crafted message. A save-the-date card or invitation is the first glimpse your guests will have of the wedding, so you'll want it to be special. . .and well-written!
It's an ageless question: How exactly do I word my invitations? As most newly engaged couples know, this can be tricky subject because what's read between the lines is who's hosting (in other words, paying for) the wedding. Fortunately, many of today's etiquette rules are versatile. But before you can tweak the rules to meet your unique wording needs, you first have to understand the rules. The following will guide
you through the options you should consider.
I N V I T A T I O N
Invitations are issued in the third person form. Traditionally, it is sent in the name of the bride's parents, if they are
paying for majority of the expenses. If the groom's parents are sharing the
cost, the invitation should be issued in their name also. If the couple is
hosting their own wedding, they may choose to honor their parents by including
their names.
The traditional form
of a formal wedding invitation
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Taylor
request the honour of your
presence
at the marriage of their
daughter
Abby Marie
to
(Mr.) Steven Arthur Keller
Saturday, the eighteenth of
November
two thousand and eight
at two o'clock in the
afternoon
St. Hilary Catholic Church
2750 West Market Street
Fairlawn, Ohio
Variations of the traditional verse including the
parents
John Andrew
son of Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin
Keim
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Gardner
and
Mr. and Mrs. Mark Keller
request the honour or your
presence
at the marriage of their
children
Lauren Grace
and
Christopher Charles
(continue)
Together with their parents
Candice Marie Millican
and
Robert Joseph Gardner
request the honour of your
presence
at their marriage
(continued)
or
Mary Jane Smiley
and
Aidan Thomas Keller
together with their parents
(continued)
When the bride's mother is
divorced, has not remarried, and is issuing the invitation:
Mrs. Michelle Taylor
requests the honour of your
presence
at the marriage of her
daughter
(continued)
If she has remarried:
Mr. and Mrs. Bryce Taylor
requests the honour of your
presence
at the marriage of her (their)
daughter
(continued)
When divorced parents
host
the wedding together it is proper to list the mother before the father.
However, if the mother is not contributing to the expenses but the bride and
groom still choose to have her name listed the father's name would be listed
first:
Mr. and Mrs. Marcus McGrew
and
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Taylor
request the honour or your
presence
at the marriage of (their
daughter)
Abby Marie
to
Steven Arthur Keller
(continued)
When the bride has a deceased
parent, the invitation is issued in only in the name of the living
parent:
Mrs. Joseph Taylor
requests the honour of your
presence
at the marriage of her
daughter
(continued)
However, there are
circumstances when the bride or groom wants to include the name of a deceased
parent. This is possible as long as the invitation is not worded to appear that
it is issued by them:
Abby Marie Taylor
daughter of
Michele Taylor and the late Joseph
Taylor
and
Steven Arthur Keller
son of
(continued)
Bride and groom issue their own
invitation
The honour of your presence
is requested
at the marriage of
Miss Abby Marie Taylor
to
Mr. Steven Arthur Keller
(continued)
Abby Marie Taylor
and
Steven Arthur Keller
invite you to share with
them
the joy of their marriage
(continued)
A
relative issues the invitation
Mr. and Mrs. David Austin
Dzubara
request the honour of your
presence
at the marriage of
their
niece
(continued)
The
use of titles
Professionals such as medical
doctors, dentists, clergymen, judges generally called by their titles should
have them included on their invitation.
Doctors with an academic PhD
(non medical) use Mr. or Mrs. unless they are normally addressed as
"
Doctor"
Women only use their titles
when she and the groom issue the invitation. The bride's mother does not use
the title " Doctor" on her daughter's invitation, unless she feels strongly about
it. If so, is should read:
Doctor Peggy Taylor and Mr. Joseph
Taylor
If both parents are
doctors:
The Doctors Palmieri
Military titles
When the groom is in the
military or is on active duty in the reserve forces, he uses his military title.
Officers with rank of captain in the Army or Lieutenant, senior grade or higher
in the Navy have the title on the same line as their names:
Colonel Steven Keller
United States Army
Lower ranks have their title
below their name:
Joseph Palmieri
Ensign, United States Navy
If the reserve officer is on
active duty, the second line reads:
United States Naval Reserve
or
Army of the United States.
First and second lieutenants
in the Army do not use the numeral. They simply write Lieutenant.
An enlisted man or
noncommissioned officer my list his rank and branch below his name if he
chooses:
Steven Arthur Keller
Corporal, Signal Corps, United States
Army
or
Joseph Frank Keller
Seaman Apprentice, United States Naval
Reserve
High-ranking officers use
their titles followed by their branch of service, even after retirement, with
"
retired"
added:
General Joseph Michael
Crist
United States Army, retired
When the father of the bride
is in the armed forces either on active duty or retired he uses his
title:
Colonel and Mrs. James
Elliott
When the bride is on active
duty both her rank and the branch is added to the invitation. Her rank is
placed on a separate line:
Meaghan Anne Keller
Lieutenant,United States
Navy
R E C E P T I O N
C A R D
The reception card is a simple verse including
the time and location.
The traditional form
of a reception card
The pleasure of you
company
is requested
at the Reception
at five o'clock in the
evening
Four Points
Sheraton
3150 West Market
Street
Fairlawn, Ohio
Other reception
verses
Cocktails at five
o'clock
Dinner served at six
o'clock
Please join us for
the
Reception
Reception, Dinner and
Dancing
Adult Reception
(Etiquette tradition frowns
on this option, however, it is used often. The best way to restrict the number
of attending is to spread the word through family, friends, and coworkers. The
bridal shower is the perfect place to start the conversation.)
R
E S P O N S E C A R D
The response card is
required for you to determine the number of guests able to attend your reception
so you can plan accordingly.
The traditional form
of a response card
The favour of a reply is
requested
before November 1, 2008
M_____________________
accepts ___
regrets ___
Other response
verses
We look forward to
celebrating with you
Please reply by November
1, 2008
Name
_________________________
Number attending
___
Unable to attend
___
Please reply by
November 1,
2008
Name
________________________
accepts ___
regrets___
Number of persons
___
Kindly respond
by
November 1,
2008
M__________________________
Please indicate number of
each:
___ Beef ___
Chicken
P E W C A R
D
Pew number ___
Within the
ribbon
I N F O R M A L N O T E
The woman's name is always first. One line of
type usually in the same typestyle and ink color as your invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas
McIntyre
Holly and
Matthew
When a monogram printed on the front it is enlarged like personal stationery note. Each supplier has it's own selection of formats, here are some examples:
A L S
(bride's first name initial, last name initial, groom's
first name initial)
Allyson and
Matthew
Taylor
Pamela L David
P L A C E C A R
D
A design or monogram can be added if desired.
Tessa and Aiden
March 15, 2008
______________________
Table number
___
Mary and Robert
April 26, 2008
______________________
You are seated at table
___
Information courtesy of Anne's Grapevine
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